About a week has passed since I said "aloud" in this blog that I'm seriously thinking about starting a photography business. One week in, and I don't feel like I've quite taken the definitive step that turns intention into action. I'm close...so close. I'm stuck at that point that is still safe. The commitment is not yet made so I can still duck back into the shadows and pretend I never considered it. I'll loathe myself if I make that move. Here's where it all stands today.
Over the past couple of days I've become somewhat entrenched in self doubt. I'm very fixated on "doing this right" and then things get completely overwhelming. I took a bunch of books out of the library and each turn of the page results in a list of things to think about that don't involve photography. Long and short term goals, target audiences, evaluating "the competition", taking inventory of skills and equipment, wants vs. needs, training and education options, professional associations, insurance, licensing, bookkeeping, portfolio development....ARGHHHHHH!
And I'm afraid to ignore any of it! I have a pile of books plus three notebooks divided up into topic sections and don't know where to start. I sit and read awhile, take notes, write down ideas, write down things I need to think about or learn, get overwhelmed, think to myself that what I should REALLY be doing is taking pictures, get up, walk around, get distracted and second guess everything.
THEN....I think about what it's going to like when I say out loud to Aaron that this is what I want to do. I can't image that he will be able to stop himself....the "advice" will come flowing like a river and it will be more discouraging than encouraging. My husband is a very smart man with a lot of business experience. But when he communicates with me, whether it's about the house, or the kids or most anything....it's with an air that he is an authority. It makes me feel stupid. It makes me feel like giving up. It's the way he rolls...he's always full of advice and "constructive" criticism. He truly believes he's being supportive but it usually has the opposite effect. I'm hesitant to seek his advice because once he gives it he expects you to follow it or "I told you so". But if I want to do this, I have to come out of the closet with it. I can't keep it a secret from him once he gets home (he's been away the last couple of weeks). This part scares me shitless.
Something I was reading just talked about 'the point of no return'. The point where you KNOW you're taking the plunge and there's no turning back. The point where everyone knows you're going for it....and will be watching you, and evaluating how you're doing (whether they have a clue or not). I'm on the precipice of that point. It's SOOOO scary.
I'd liken this to preparing to jump out of a plane (which is something I have NO desire to do). I'm anticipating (and dreading) the free fall. I need to get this part behind me.
Over the past couple of days I've become somewhat entrenched in self doubt. I'm very fixated on "doing this right" and then things get completely overwhelming. I took a bunch of books out of the library and each turn of the page results in a list of things to think about that don't involve photography. Long and short term goals, target audiences, evaluating "the competition", taking inventory of skills and equipment, wants vs. needs, training and education options, professional associations, insurance, licensing, bookkeeping, portfolio development....ARGHHHHHH!
And I'm afraid to ignore any of it! I have a pile of books plus three notebooks divided up into topic sections and don't know where to start. I sit and read awhile, take notes, write down ideas, write down things I need to think about or learn, get overwhelmed, think to myself that what I should REALLY be doing is taking pictures, get up, walk around, get distracted and second guess everything.
THEN....I think about what it's going to like when I say out loud to Aaron that this is what I want to do. I can't image that he will be able to stop himself....the "advice" will come flowing like a river and it will be more discouraging than encouraging. My husband is a very smart man with a lot of business experience. But when he communicates with me, whether it's about the house, or the kids or most anything....it's with an air that he is an authority. It makes me feel stupid. It makes me feel like giving up. It's the way he rolls...he's always full of advice and "constructive" criticism. He truly believes he's being supportive but it usually has the opposite effect. I'm hesitant to seek his advice because once he gives it he expects you to follow it or "I told you so". But if I want to do this, I have to come out of the closet with it. I can't keep it a secret from him once he gets home (he's been away the last couple of weeks). This part scares me shitless.
Something I was reading just talked about 'the point of no return'. The point where you KNOW you're taking the plunge and there's no turning back. The point where everyone knows you're going for it....and will be watching you, and evaluating how you're doing (whether they have a clue or not). I'm on the precipice of that point. It's SOOOO scary.
I'd liken this to preparing to jump out of a plane (which is something I have NO desire to do). I'm anticipating (and dreading) the free fall. I need to get this part behind me.
6 comments:
Believe me, I'm not very good at offering advice, but I think you'll have regrets if you don't pursue this venture (and adventure). Be damned to anyone with their negative opinions or "I told you so".
Long,long ago, when I had some doubts about my piano career, one of my teachers (a former conductor of the Belgrade Symphony) told me
"Don't think about it - - just DO it!"
Impossibly simple advice, yet good advice......
Only in your dreams can you fly Katherine? I think not, spread those wings and start flapping. You my dear are on your way to the sky.
One of my favourite quotes on Pinterest lately....
STOP being afraid of what could go wrong, and think of what could go RIGHT.
Nothing worth having is going to come easy, you will make mistakes, you will learn to use those wings. Now stand up and say it in the mirror, I am READY!
And go and do it. I am very proud of you, don't know you in person obviously, but you are one talented photographer, and passion will carry you over the rocky parts. Make that passion shine!
Don't ask for permission to do this, go and tell them you have done it.
Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams
Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one for you at the present time. You will instinctively know what is right for you though there may be a price to pay. Good luck!
Hi Katherine,
I'm also that kind of husband, I'm afraid. You should ignore us! And certainly not be scared, especially not of your husband. In the end it is your decision. I wish you wisdom!
Regards,
Robert
Listen to Robert, listen to the wise ladies, listen to your heart - leap! It's your time. Good luck and keep us posted!
Something I read this morning - I took it into my heart for my own reasons - seems to apply here: "If you make the leap, the net will appear." That's faith, baby, in a big way. I have utmost faith in you. I know you can do this. Just get started, the path will become clear.
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